


Butterflies

by PsychoSarcasm



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:21:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22751665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychoSarcasm/pseuds/PsychoSarcasm
Summary: Izaya wakes up confused and certain that he's finally lost it. That has to be the only explanation for everything happening.
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya, Kishitani Shinra & Orihara Izaya
Comments: 10
Kudos: 97





	1. Chapter One

Hands flew up to cover ears as noise, voices, suddenly echoed around the room. The sudden volume causing him to jolt awake, startled and panicked. Many different voices floating around him, despite not knowing how they had gotten there. He was sure his door was locked, as always, so nobody should be there. Even if he had fallen asleep on the desk his head was currently resting on. 

Lifting his head slowly, Izaya uncovered his ears and cracked open an eye. Shinra's blurry face in front of him gesturing wildly. Words not processing in Izaya's brain as fast as they should. Shinra looked wrong, even as his eyes focused. The more that the haze filling his head cleared, the more Izaya panicked. Something was wrong, and he couldn’t quite place what it was. He had never felt something like this before. Izaya always knew what was going on around him. Suddenly not knowing had him on edge and honestly afraid.

“-aya! Izaya, breathe! Can you hear me?!”

It was then that Izaya realized just how much his chest hurt. The short, panicked gasps of air not being enough to satisfy his lungs. A sharp inhale was all he could manage for a moment before he could take deeper breaths. In and out. Slow, deep breaths. Until the constricting feeling had eased and he no longer had to focus on his breathing.

“Are you okay?”

There had been a long moment of silence before Shinra had spoken again. Giving Izaya enough time to study his worried friend. Shinra was younger. That wasn’t right, but the proof was right in front of him. Unless he was dreaming or had finally lost it. Which seemed unlikely considering he could feel the panic attack. Just what was going on here?

“I’m fine.” Izaya mumbled, finally looking away from his friend and taking in the rest of his surroundings. A classroom. Students. No, his old classmates. The desk he had been laying on much smaller than his own. A bit of red peeking out from his black sleeve. His normal choice of a black shirt gone and replaced by a red one underneath a black jacket. His old uniform.

“Fine?! You passed out in the middle of our conversation and had a panic attack! People don’t just do that kind of thing!” Shinra scolded, rather lightly, which Izaya was thankful for. His head was killing him, and he didn’t think he could handle Shinra at 100%. 

“I passed out?” Had something happened to cause whatever this was? Maybe he was unconscious after all. He couldn’t think of anything else that could possibly explain it. Sure, there were things like Saika and Celty that couldn’t be explained, but time travel was impossible.

“You don’t remember?!”

Izaya sighed heavily, rubbing at his eyes. This couldn’t be real. He had just been replying to emails on his computer. He hadn’t gone anywhere or done anything, so what was going on? The school bell, the last one of the day, barely noticed as Izaya tried to collect his thoughts. He silently watched his classmates leave the room, hurrying to get home or wherever they were going. Normally he would be more curious about their plans, but right now he couldn’t bring himself to care at all. 

“No. I don’t remember passing out.”

“Do you remember talking to me? I was asking you if you wanted to meet my friend from elementary school. He’s a little-“

“Absolutely not.” Izaya cut him off, already knowing what happened there. A small feeling of guilt passed through him, having sounded more aggressive than he had meant to. Shinra didn’t deserve that, but Shizuo was the very last person he wanted to see. Especially now. “Sorry.” He added, not even looking up at Shinra. “I just meant.. I don’t feel that great. Perhaps it’s not a good idea right now.”

“That’s okay! You can meet him another time!” Shinra said, too cheerful about the idea for Izaya. Still, he was grateful Shinra didn’t push the subject. “But you should go see the nurse before she leaves for the day.”

Izaya held himself back from rolling his eyes. A school nurse couldn’t help him. Not with his current situation anyway. “I’ll pass. I just need to go home and get some rest.”

“Alright.” Shinra agreed. “Just be careful, okay?”

“I will. Don’t worry.” Izaya replied quietly, gathering his things and walking out of the classroom. Only stopping to switch his shoes before leaving. Shinra’s request for Izaya to text him later being ignored before they went their separate ways. As much as he wanted to just go home and figure things out, curiosity got the better of him and Izaya found himself walking past the destruction he had seen so many years ago. This time from afar and completely uninvolved with the monster causing it. At least if he left it alone, he wouldn’t have to deal with Shizuo here. Until things were normal again.

He watched quietly as Shinra sat on the sidelines waiting on his friend. Everything remained exactly the same as he remembered, except he weren’t there to greet the blond afterwards. Shizuo finally calming down and heading over to greet their mutual friend. The two speaking to each other about something he couldn’t bring himself to care about. Yet, as hard as he tried, Izaya couldn’t look away from the two. Something holding his gaze and keeping his feet planted. Something felt off. 

That’s when he saw it. A crimson butterfly fluttering towards him. The most beautiful wings Izaya had ever seen on a butterfly. Once close enough, the thing started circling him. Izaya unable to look away. 

Suddenly there was a pressure inside his head. The beginning of a headache. Slowly getting worse by the second. The haze was back, and Izaya still couldn’t focus on anything but the red creature circling him. He pressed the heel of his hand to his head, blinking slowly and tearing his eyes away. The pain getting worse. Suddenly Izaya felt sick. The pain in his head unbearable and getting worse. Both hands were pressed to his head and eyes shut tight. A small whimper escaping as the pain only increased more. Falling to his knees, the pain finally overcame him. A loud scream escaped before he fell forward and slipped into unconsciousness.

The scream had caught attention, having echoed around the area. Shinra immediately recognizing the voice and jumping up to run in the direction of the dark figure he could see on the ground, knowing exactly who it was. Shizuo following close behind, unsettled by the pained scream. 

They both fell to their knees beside Izaya, turning him over onto his back and checking his breathing before looking for any injuries. Nothing found, but he was still unconscious and even then his face was twisted in a pained expression. Shinra looking over Izaya a second time, even more closely. Still, he couldn’t find a thing. 

“Izaya? Izaya, wake up. Come on. Please?” Shinra tried, carefully shaking Izaya. Nothing changed and Shinra ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He couldn’t fix what he couldn’t find, and this was the second time this had happened. Though the first time Izaya hadn’t screamed or seemed to be in pain. It was like his friend had simply fallen asleep. This was different. This was much worse than earlier.

“Should we take him to your place?” Shizuo asked, smacking Izaya’s cheek lightly in another attempt to wake him. Shinra stayed silent for a moment before nodding. He wasn’t sure what he could do, but he couldn’t leave Izaya here or at home alone. Not to mention he’d probably be murdered if Izaya eoke up in a hospital. He’d very much like to avoid that, and Izaya was breathing with no serious injuries so a hospital wasn’t needed anyway. At least he hoped not. 

Shizuo inched closer and slid his arms under Izaya, lifting him from the ground and waited for Shinra to stand and gather his friends things. Shinra gave one more worried look at Izaya before turning and walking home. Shizuo easily falling into place beside him.

Izaya was such a light sleeper, and the longer he didn’t do so much as twitch the more worried Shinra became. The walk was silent for a while as Shinra got lost in his thoughts. His friend had passed out twice. The first time he panicked and the second time he was in pain. Could there be any relation between the attack and the pain? Or does that mean the two instances were wildly different with no connection? He really couldn’t get any answers unless Izaya woke up and answered them himself.

Shinra sighed and turned to Shizuo, who had allowed Shinra his silence for most of the walk home. “This is Izaya Orihara.” He started, humming softly as he tried to figure out how to explain someone so unique. “He’s an asshole, really. But he’s my friend, and was the only one I had in middle school. He can really rub you the wrong way sometimes, but he has his moments.”

“Sounds like more trouble than he’s worth.” Shizuo huffed.

“Oh, he is. Once you get to know him it’s different. Izaya doesn’t really like others knowing so much about him, but once you see that side of him you can’t ignore it. He’s just like the rest of us, if not more fragile.” Shinra mused, pausing to glance at Izaya. “I was hoping you two would get along. Meet today actually. Then he passed out in class and now this.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Shizuo sighed, looking down at Izaya. He didn’t look like the generic assholes he sees around, but you can’t judge a book by it’s cover and all that. He’d try to get along with him for Shinra, and hope for the best. “He passed out in class too?”

Shinra hummed in confirmation. “He's never done anything like this before. The first time he woke up quickly, and freaked out. He said he had wanted to go home, so I didn’t expect him to be around. Though I guess it’s better than passing out on the street or something.”

Shizuo stumbled slightly, and came to a stop. Shinra pausing to look back and see why. Izaya had his hands pressed to his head, eyes closed as he let out a small groan.

Shinra shuffled closer to look over his friend.

“Izaya?”

Izaya let out another groan, shifting slightly in Shizuo's arms. Movements jerking as if he were about to fall asleep. After a moment, an eye cracked open. Blearily looking at Shinra before shifting to Shizuo. No movements or attempt at acknowledging either of them. As if he didn’t realize there were other people there at all. 

“Hurts.” Izaya whispered, both eyes open and trying to focus on his surroundings. Only for them to close a second later as Izaya gave up and once again fell limp in Shizuo’s arms.

Shinra checked over Izaya’s head quickly for any signs of injury, but still came up empty handed.

“I don’t know what happened, but it must be bad if he’s complaining about it. Sadly all I can do is let him sleep over at my place until he wakes up.” Shinra said, beginning the rest of the walk home with Shizuo following close behind. Nothing else was said, even as they arrived and laid Izaya in Shinra’s room. Shinra continuing to keep an eye on Izaya despite nothing changing. 

Shizuo didn’t know Izaya, but couldn’t help but feel slightly concerned himself. A silent agreement was made between him and Shinra that they would all be staying overnight. Shizuo letting his parents know as Shinra ordered food. They were thankful it was Friday. No worrying about school the next day.  
It didn’t take long for the two to fall asleep on the futons they had set out. Izaya restlessly sleeping in Shinra's bed.

No one noticed when reddish-brown eyes cracked open hours later.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't entirely sure I was going to continue with this fic, but I was surprised by all of the attention it had gotten in such a short amount of time. So yes, it will continue. And thank you for the feedback. ^^

Shinra’s room. Different from what he remembered but undeniably his. Izaya had been seriously hoping that it was all just some wild dream, but it didn’t seem to be anything of the sort. Everything was perfectly aligned with the past, and he could feel pain. Wasn’t that one of the rules? Pinch yourself if you think you’re dreaming?

Sitting up, Izaya rubbed at his eyes and stretched his arms above his head. His body was stiff, and he couldn’t help but wonder how long he had been laying there. Not that it really mattered. 

His eyes shifted to the futons laid out on the floor. Shinra curled up on the closest one, snoring softly. The other one wasn’t as close, and his eyes had to adjust to see who it was. Wild blond hair was what gave it away. Izaya had to hold back the growl threatening to escape at the sight of Shizuo.

Then a wide grin broke out across his face. Dream, hallucination, or reality. It didn’t matter what it was, this was the perfect opportunity. A chance to end Shizuo’s life, laid out in front of him so perfectly. 

It didn’t take much effort to slip out of the bed without a sound. Just as silently stepping over Shinra and making his way over to Shizuo. The blond sleeping peacefully. Softened features and completely unaware. Not exactly how Izaya had wanted this to happen, but he’d take it.

Crouched over the sleeping monster, blade drawn and poised over it’s chest. One swipe down and it’s all over. Taking a deep breath, Izaya thrust the blade towards Shizuo’s chest. A manic laugh had bubbled up and he had to suppress it to keep from waking anyone. Finally, it was over.

The tip of the blade was inches away from it’s target. Gripped tightly in trembling hands, but otherwise still. The pain was back, and no longer confined to his head. Nerves throughout his body setting themselves on fire. Izaya fumbled with the blade as he had momentarily loosened his grip, barely catching it before it dropped on the sleeping blond. The sudden movement had sent another wave of pain through him and Izaya stumbled back, away from Shizuo. 

Izaya shoved the blade back into his pocket and sank to the floor, whimpering quietly as he tried to ride it out. The worst part, was that for a second he had sworn he had seen a fluttering blur of red in the corner of his vision. He was losing his mind.

A final wave of pain, worse than before, shot through him. A silent scream escaping him as he focused on staying conscious. He was panting heavily when the pain had suddenly disappeared, leaving him out of breath and overall weak. Shinra and Shizuo had both appeared by his side at some point and he could only wonder if he was as silent as he had thought. It took him a moment to register the wet feeling trailing down his cheeks. He was crying.

“Okay Izaya. You’re really freaking me out now.” Shinra spoke, worry clearly heard in his voice. “What’s happening? Are you injured?”

Shizuo didn’t speak, thankfully, and sat to the side quietly. Probably waiting to see if he would be needed somehow. How sickeningly sweet for such a beast. As if he’d allow that monster to touch him.

“I’m..” Izaya started, a denial of anything being wrong right at the tip of his tongue. Though Shinra wouldn’t buy it a second time. Especially if this was the third time something had happened. “I don’t know.” He admitted quietly.

“Can you tell me what’s happening? Where you’re hurting? Any triggers for it? Anything at all?”

“It was my head before.” Izaya mumbled, already growing tired of the attention. “This time it felt like I had been set on fire. Everything burned. I don’t know anything else, Shinra.”

Shinra narrowed his eyes, not believing the lie for a second. Izaya knew more than he was telling, but Shinra let it slide anyway. There wasn’t much he could do to force the truth out of his friend. 

“Fine.” Shinra sighed, shaking his head. “I could probably get you some painkillers? If that would help?”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks.” Izaya murmured, watching as Shinra gave him a small smile and got up to leave. It was only when Shinra had stepped out of the room that Izaya had realized what he had done.

Izaya immediately locked eyes with Shizuo, a growl at the back of his throat but remaining unheard. The blond reached up and rubbed the back of his head, looking away in a nervous manner. As if he were actually human. 

“Why are you here?” Izaya asked, forcing his tone to sound more sweet than sour. He didn’t need a fight at the moment, and this Shizuo didn’t know him. He could fake his way through this.

“Um.. you passed out..” Shizuo replied quietly.

“Obviously.” Izaya said sarcastically, before he could stop himself. He looked over the blond warily once he had realized, but he had done nothing more than twitch at the sarcasm.

“I carried you here for Shinra. I stayed in case something happened.”

Oh wonderful. That monster had his hands all over him while he was out, and to make matters worse he was acting as if he cared. Izaya felt like he was going to be sick.

“Great.” Izaya mumbled, turning away from the blond.

Shizuo must have written the comments off as Izaya being sick and cranky, because he left the conversation at that. Shinra came back a moment later, and Izaya considered himself saved. The three remained silent as Izaya took the pill and a glass of water from Shinra and swallowed it down. Without a word, Shizuo and Shinra had gotten comfortable and looked to be struggling somewhere between wanting to sleep and keeping an eye on Izaya. It was one in the morning after all-

“Shit!” Izaya yelled, scrambling to find his shoes and slip them on. Abandoning his things and ignoring the startled friends staring at him in shock. “I have to go!”

That was all he offered as he threw the door open and let it slam shut behind him, sprinting down the street as soon as he reached it. He was so late. How could he let something like this happen? Unconscious or not this was unacceptable. 

The twins were at home alone. He remembered that they had been sick that day. Today? He hadn’t needed to pick them up from school, but he never stayed out too late. His sisters at the age he had last seen them wouldn’t have cared if he didn’t show up one day, but at this age they would be scared. A pang of guilt hit him hard. He’d have to make it up to them somehow, but right now he needed to make sure they were both okay. 

Izaya tripped over his feet, tucking himself into a roll to keep himself from being injured and kept on his feet. He spun around, looking across the area slowly and carefully. Nothing but an empty street. Paranoia must be getting to him. He could have sworn he had felt someone there.

“Great. More proof that I’m losing my mind.” Izaya mumbled, hesitating before starting his run home once more. He had to hurry. Anything else can be dealt with later. The girls were more important. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling of being followed. Footsteps echoing down the empty street sounding like more than one pair. Eyes boring a hole into his back. Yet, every glance over his shoulder showed nothing. 

Izaya had dug his keys from his pocket a few blocks from his house, house key ready to be used as soon as possible. He had his door unlocked and shut behind him faster than he had ever thought possible. Shoving the curtains aside, Izaya peeked out the window. Still there was nothing. He let out a heavy sigh and made his way to the twins room. 

The door didn’t make a sound as Izaya nudged it open carefully, peeking inside to see his sisters curled up together in one bed. Not unusual, but they were usually good with staying in their own beds unless they needed each other for one reason or another. He swallowed the guilt and crept inside, tugging a blanket up over them. Izaya pushed their hair back and behind their ears so it was out of their faces, and placed a soft kiss to each of their cheeks.

Izaya pulled the door shut behind him as he left their room, and he took a moment to calm himself. He really had been worried for them until then. Maybe he’d take them to the park or something as an apology. He thought over the options as he worked on picking up anything the girls had left out while he was gone. Snacks, toys, crayons. Thankfully his sisters weren’t as messy as others their age, or chores would be so much harder to keep up with.

Picking up the plastic cups from the table, Izaya moved onto the dishes. Washing the few they had left from breakfast and the snacks he had left for the girls. He made sure to leave the cups closer to the edge so they could be reached. Wiping his hands, Izaya took a moment to look around.

He had really lost himself in the moment. Completely fell back into his old routine without even realizing it. Honestly it was a strange feeling and Izaya wasn’t entirely sure what to make of it. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing after all. 

Izaya ran a hand through his hair in frustration. Nothing about any of this was bad. There was the random attacks to his body, but he couldn’t be sure it was connected in any way. Pain aside, he just felt… out of place. Like he didn’t belong here. Which was probably true. How could he fix it though? Especially with no knowledge on what had caused this to begin with. 

Another pain pounded around his head, interrupting his thoughts. Not as bad and far more bearable this time around. Izaya moved over to the couch and allowed himself to fall forward onto it. He was exhausted and his head hurt again. A small sigh of relief escaped when he remembered it was technically the weekend. Nothing important happening until school resumed on Monday. 

Izaya bit his tongue lightly as a distraction from the pain. It may have been a relief from the excruciating pain he was in before, but it still wasn’t a welcome feeling. It was honestly starting to get more annoying than painful. Just how long had he been unconscious altogether within the past 24 hours? Or at least dealing with whatever this was.

Trying to figure it out did nothing for him but make the headache worse, so he closed his eyes and rested his head on the decorative cushion placed on their couch. Things finally started to feel normal and more peaceful as he came closer to an actual sleep rather than passing out. The headache almost gone and Izaya could practically feel how close he was to the wonderful rest his body and mind both craved.

Izaya jerked as that peaceful feeling was ripped away from him. His eyes fluttering open in search of what woke him. Dazed, he couldn’t seem to process what was wrong or out of place enough to force him awake. It could have been the short but sudden wave of pain passing through his body for the last time that night. Or the soft click of the front door as it was pulled closed. Perhaps it could have been the crimson colored butterfly perched on his nose, wings opening and closing slowly. The pattern of it’s wings lulling him back into a peaceful sleep.

Izaya’s eyes slipped closed and he dreamt of beautiful red butterflies fluttering all around him.


	3. Chapter 3

“Iza-nii! Wake up, you jerk! Wake uuuuup!” 

“Meanie.” 

Izaya groaned softly, throwing an arm over his head. Why were his sisters bothering him when they were... Ah, right. They were basically toddlers again. Children. He counted as a child here too, didn’t he? He wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that. 

A small, but surprisingly heavy weight landed on his back. Just enough to knock the wind out of him. 

“Mairu get off.” Izaya sighed, picking his head up finally to send a playful glare over his shoulder. The girl only offered a small, innocent smile. Realizing he wasn’t going to get anywhere, Izaya rolled over and let her fall onto the couch as he stood up. The small yelp she had let out was worth being used as a trampoline. 

“Breakfast?” He asked, looking down at Kururi and giving a small smile when she gave a nod. 

Mairu jumped up and followed after him, whining about being ignored and how she wanted breakfast too. Though, both brother and sister had a content smile. There would never come a time when Izaya wouldn’t take care of them, and they all knew it. 

It didn’t take long at all for them to settle down and eat the breakfast he had thrown together. Or for the girls to get dressed when he had asked. The routine had been easier to slip into than he thought, and honestly, he had missed it. He wants to go home, but he wouldn’t mind sticking around just a little longer. Even if it was just to spend more time with his sisters. When things go back to normal, he would have to give them both a visit. 

Luckily, before Izaya could fall down that rabbit hole of depressive thoughts, the twins had run up to him fully dressed and telling him to hurry. He hadn’t even said where they were going, and they were already excited. He couldn’t help but chuckle as he grabbed his shoes. Pausing only to look at his bag that he was sure he had left at Shinra’s before the girls had pushed him out the door. 

He left them both to talk to each other as he led the way to their favorite park. His thoughts stuck on his bag. Had he actually grabbed it before he left? No, Shinra must have brought it over. Last time he had left his things, Shinra had just given it all back the next time they had school. 

Izaya couldn’t dwell on it too long. The girl's shrieks as they sprinted past and into the part ahead of them had interrupted his thought process completely. The bag could wait, for now he could relax. 

From there it was chaos. The twins and Izaya running around the park as if they had never seen one before. Races and games of tag. Swings and slides. Monkey bars and zip lines. Screaming and laughter. 

For the first time in years, Izaya was able to find his happiness in something other than playing around with his humans. No research or tricks needed. No overthinking. No thinking at all. Just enjoying the bright shine in his sister's eyes as they messed around. He had found himself laughing genuinely. Just for a while, nothing else mattered. 

It was only when Mairu had ran into an older boy that reality had come crashing back to him. The boy, Kasuka, had helped Mairu up from where she fell as Shizuo caught up to him. Both Shizuo and Kasuka had asked her if she was okay, and Mairu had immediately ran off after assuring them that she was. The blond had decided then to turn his attention to Izaya. Telling his little brother he’d be back before walking over. If there was ever a time for someone to become invisible, Izaya would say it would be now. 

“Hey. Izaya, right? Are you still hurt?” Shizuo started, actually looking worried. That was a nightmare by itself. 

“As you can see, I’m fine.” Izaya answered, tone flat and uninterested. 

Shizuo huffed, scowling at the other. Normally he would have stormed away or punched a guy for that, but as soon as the thought had crossed his mind it had been replaced with the image of Izaya curling into himself from pain. The scowl disappeared. 

Izaya brought a hand to his head, a slight pressure in his head tearing his thoughts away from Shizuo. Luckily, it was gone almost immediately. 

“Yes, my name is Izaya.” Izaya sighed, already wanting the day to end. “And I’m okay.” 

Shizuo watched carefully, confused by the sudden change. Izaya said nothing else, but he brought a hand to his head a second time. Maybe his head was still hurting? 

“My name is Shizuo Heiwajima.” He said after a moment. “Shinra wanted to introduce us yesterday, but... anyway, he was worried when you left.” 

“Shinra tends to overreact.” 

“I guess. Are they your sisters?” Shizuo asked, gesturing towards the twins. 

Just like that, Izaya’s eyes brightened slightly and a smile crossed his face. 

“They are. Mairu and Kururi. They’re twins. Five years old and so far ahead of the other kids. I’m so proud of them.” Izaya replied. 

Shizuo smiled as well. If nothing else, they both had love for their younger siblings. 

“That’s Kasuka.” Shizuo told him, gesturing at his little brother. “He’s super smart. He doesn’t really show a lot of emotions, but maybe that’s because of me. I’m too emotional.” 

Well, that was a weird thing to confess to someone you just met. Though, Izaya had heard much worse from complete strangers. 

“So, you’re saying that your brother is anything that you aren’t?” 

“Kind of. I’m not very smart, and I get into a lot of trouble.” 

“My sisters are like that. It’s my fault. I told them that they would always be the same person because they were twins. They decided to become each other's total opposites. I shouldn’t have said it.” Izaya said quietly, and just why was he admitting this to Shizuo of all people? “In your case, I just don’t see it that way. You have your own strengths that he doesn’t have. You have to find them.” 

Izaya looked back up at Shizuo just in time to catch a small smile before he recoiled. He hadn’t noticed that another headache had been slowly forming until it became too much to ignore. It suddenly felt like his head was being crushed, and he barely registered the worried look on Shizuo’s face before he found himself on the ground. Again. 

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed. More focused on the searing pain. Focus on breathing and getting his eyes to focus on the blurs in front of him. 

Then it was gone. His vision cleared, allowing him to see his sisters, Shizuo, and Kasuka standing around him. Sounds slowly came back. Mairu and Kururi sniffling and crying over him as Shizuo tried to get an answer from him. 

Izaya struggled to push himself up, Shizuo having to help him into a sitting position. Kasuka silently held out a tissue, and Izaya realized that his nose was bleeding. Nothing was said as he wiped the blood away. Eventually, Izaya broke the silence. 

“Thank you.” Izaya murmured softly, addressing both brothers. 

A small red butterfly fluttered around Shizuo’s feet before flying away. 

Shizuo and Kasuka looked at each other, seeming to have a silent conversation as the twins demanded to be held by their brother. It took a few minutes to calm them both down and convince them to continue playing. 

“You should go to a hospital.” Shizuo mumbled after the girls had ran off. 

“I’m fine.” 

“Izaya, you just-” Shizuo started, almost growling as he spoke. “You started bleeding and just... fell.” 

“I’m fine.” Izaya repeated, pushing himself to his feet. “It’s just... headaches. Really bad ones.” 

“At least see Shinra again? A headache shouldn’t be that bad.” 

Izaya studied Shizuo for a moment. Everything was weird, but his enemy worrying over his health was more than a little off-putting. 

“Fine. Later, though. Don’t ruin their fun because of me.” 

Looking over at his sisters, Izaya sighed. They seemed to be over the little scare already, and they didn’t get to do things like this often. He’d feel guilty to make them stop now. Somehow, Shizuo saw this in his expression. 

“Later.” Shizuo agreed. “I’ll drag your ass there if I have to, pest.” 

“Hey! Now, what’s that about Shizu-chan?!” 

“Don’t call me that.” 

And the frown on Shizuo’s face made the jab worth it. Izaya laughed lightly and sat back down in the grass, watching the twins. Shizuo joined him after a moment, and soon after Kasuka decided to entertain the girls. 

In another time, Shizuo and Izaya would be fighting. Kasuka would be travelling and the girls would be off causing trouble. In that time, everyone here would have laughted if someone had said Shizuo and Izaya sat in a park and watched their younger siblings. In that time, all of this wouldn’t exist. 

As much as he loved his life, his humans, his job, his fights, and his games, Izaya could barely focus on it. Suddenly that life felt unreal to him. Boring and lonely. Maybe he had always felt that way about it and hadn’t noticed, but now he wasn’t sure if that was what he really wanted. 

Did he want to become distant from his sisters? Did he want to fight Shizuo? Did he want to sit alone in an empty apartment and spend all of his time playing with other people’s lives than enjoy his own?   
Did he want to live a dangerous life filled with nothing but games? Or did he want to live with friends and family and just enjoy what he had? 

That red butterfly was back, in the distance. Fluttering around wildly, and Izaya tensed. Pain never came, and Izaya almost let out a sigh of relief before he remembered Shizuo sitting beside him. He glanced at the blond before turning his attention back to those red wings. The thing danced around. The movements looking both happy and sad. Was a butterfly even capable of such thing? Was he capable of it? 

If he remembered right, it was sometime within this week that he had first got in touch with someone from the Yakuza. The first time he had gotten involved with anything major. Izaya wasn’t sure he wanted to anymore. Actually, he didn’t. If he wanted something different, he needed to start now. Before it was too late to back out. Maybe, whatever he did here would affect the life he knew. That thought made him happy. All he had to do was keep away from the Yakuza and anything else that was dangerous or ruined people. He could do that. 

That’s what he’d do. 

The butterfly’s movements became erratic, like it was glitching from one spot to another. Unnerving and just wrong. 

Izaya brought a hand up as his nose began to bleed again, but it didn’t do much to stop it. Shizuo finally glanced over and their eyes met briefly. Whatever Shizuo saw made him jolt and reach a hand out to Izaya. There was no pain, so why would he be freaking out? 

He could taste it. The metallic taste of blood as it fell past his lips and down to stain his shirt. Izaya choked on it, leaning forward and coughing the blood on the grass in front of them. Looking down, he saw his hands and shirt stained red. It wouldn’t stop. There was too much and it just kept going. 

Izaya would be scared, or worried at least, but he was tired. It was hard to keep his eyes open, or his head up. His breaths slowed, or was it breathing at all? His lungs hurt, feeling as if he was getting too much air and not enough. 

He was tired. So tired, and he could sleep. Just for a while. The grass was comfortable after all. When did he lay down? Why was Shizuo being loud? Maybe he can ask when he wakes up. 

“Izaya, breathe!” 

He is breathing. 

“Iza-nii! Wake up!” 

Just a few minutes... 

What was that alarm... or siren? 

Why were they pushing on his chest? 

He’s fine. 

“No pulse... get the children home.” 

“Iza-nii!” 

He’ll tell them when he wakes up.

“Iza-nii! Wake up, you jerk! Wake uuuuup!”


End file.
